A Sweatshirt
by thekatthatbarks
Summary: "Break ups are hard, Choji. I feel miserable too." "It's been five months, though," he pointed out and Sakura could see where he was going with this. She sighed. "I know." Choji stopped walking and Sakura turned to him. "Well, then maybe this isn't for the best. For anyone. Maybe you shouldn't have broken up."


"I still can't believe that you guys are like…over," Ino mumbled as she looked down at her food one day at lunch.

Sakura sighed, having had this discussion probably a dozen times already. She didn't even offer a reply and just angrily stabbed at her salad with a fork. Ino obviously didn't seem to mind as she continued, "I mean like you guys were perfect for each other and you finally got together after all this time. None of us had expected it but then you were so good together!" Ino looked at her with an intense worry and waved her hand at her. "And now you're eating a salad!"

Sakura looked up at that with a cocked eyebrow. "What?"

Ino pointed her fork at her. "You never ate salads before."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Yes, I did, Pig."

"Well, you and I both know you don't even like them. If Shikamaru was here –"

"He would tell me to go order something I wanted and to stop glaring at my plate," Sakura finished for her with a shake of her head. _It's not like you're unhealthy, Sakura. It's okay to spoil yourself a little. Want some anko dumplings?_

Ino crossed her arms over her chest and told her something she had been saying for months, "He took good care of you. He only ever wanted you to be happy."

Sakura gave her the same reply she always did and looked back at her plate, suddenly losing her appetite. "I know."

Ino huffed and glared out the window of the restaurant. "I don't understand why you won't tell me why you broke up. Neither of you."

Sakura didn't comment and Ino gave up on the subject. As she talked about her last date with Choji, Sakura felt her thoughts straying to Shikamaru like they often did. She knew where Ino was coming from. She really did. She missed him like crazy and hated going home to that lonely apartment. But even as much as she wanted to go find him and try and work it out, she knew that he had been in the wrong. She couldn't forgive herself if she just let it slide without him even trying on his end.

***  
Sakura was on her way home from the market when her bag tore and her vegetables bounced along the road. She internally groaned, wondering if they would even fit in the other bag she had. She turned around to pick them up when an enlarged hand came in to view holding a few vegetables.

She looked up with a smile as she took them and stuffed them in her bag. "Thank you, Choji."

He just smiled back at her and silently helped her pick up the rest of her lost groceries. When not all of them would fit in her other bag, he was nice enough to help her carry the rest home though she told him she'd be fine.

Sakura hadn't been good friends with Choji until she started dating Shikamaru and she'd missed him since they broke up. Even now, he seemed like he was nervous to talk to her and when he finally spoke Sakura could see why.

"Sakura, Shikamaru's miserable." He spoke bluntly and gave her a sad smile.

She didn't know what to say as a part of her hurt at just hearing it. She looked away from him and asked, "Is he eating?

Choji nodded and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, he is. It's not that bad, but he's just not himself. He doesn't smile like he used to."

Sakura told him brokenly, "Break ups are hard, Choji. I feel miserable too."

"It's been five months, though," he pointed out and Sakura could see where he was going with this.

She sighed. "I know."

Choji stopped walking and Sakura turned to him. "Well, then maybe this isn't for the best. For anyone. Maybe you shouldn't have broken up."

"Did Shikamaru tell you why we broke up?"

Choji shook his head, looking annoyed by the fact. Sakura started walking again and said, "If Shikamaru wants to try and fix things, he can come and see me."

He didn't say much else after that and when they finally reached her apartment, he helped her put them up. He gave her a quick hug goodbye and left before she could say anything else. She spent the rest of the day busying herself by tidying up the apartment and reading some medical journals. But she couldn't get over how empty the apartment felt. Shikamaru had practically been living with her before they broke up. He wasn't even going to renew the lease on his apartment in the fall. Now, it just felt _cold_ without him. She tried to get her conversation with Choji out of her mind, but she kept coming back to that sad smile of his and she was reminded of how lonely she felt.

***  
 _Where are they?_ Sakura groaned in frustration as she tore through her closet. Her upcoming mission was in cold country and she needed to find her winter boots, but they were nowhere to be found. She tried to think of the last time she had worn them and then froze in a sudden panic. _Shikamaru's. They were at Shikamaru's._ She remembered how she had kicked them off as soon as she had climbed through his window and climbed into bed with him. She'd forgotten about them in the morning, just grabbing a pair of sandals she'd kept there before. They were probably still peeking out from under his bed.

She debated going to Ino's and asking to borrow a pair of hers or maybe even just buying another pair. But Ino would just tell her she was being a coward and Sakura knew she'd be right. She glared at her closet like it was what was to blame for all of this. She held back the temptation to kick the door out of frustration, knowing she'd just leave a huge hole.

She let out a deep breath before leaving her apartment. She could already feel the dread in her feet trying to drag her down and needed to do it now before she lost her nerve.

***  
Shikamaru answered the door right away and Sakura forced herself to not look at him directly. She knew she was being a little ridiculous, but she didn't want to be… _distracted_. She just crossed her arms over her chest and stared resolutely at the door henge. She ignored how her heart skipped a beat when he breathed surprised, "Sakura?"

It wasn't the first time they'd seen each other since they'd broken up. They'd passed by each other in town or at the Tower, avoiding each other's eyes. But this was the first time they'd been alone.

Sakura moved past him and through the door without looking at him. "I just left something here. I'll be gone in a second."

She heard him sigh and the soft click of the front door closing. Both sounds sounded so definite in his small apartment. He followed her silently to his bedroom and Sakura reached under the bed finding her boots exactly where she'd expected. They were cold and covered in dust. She stared down at them unable to leave as fast as she had came. She felt frozen to the floor, as cold as the boots in her hands. The heavy feeling that had haunted her chest the past few months seemed to increase with the weight of the innocent shoes.

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to ignore the tightness in her chest. She took a steadying breath and looked up, because Haruno Sakura was anything but _weak_. Those few seconds she had felt like she had the resolve of steal, but when she met his eyes, it crumbled. She felt comforted that they still held that warmth they'd always had when he looked at her. They held each other's gazes for a second, before they both glanced away.

Shikamaru cleared his throat and asked her, looking at the boots, "Find what you needed?"

Sakura looked down at them too and nodded. "Yeah, um…" She glanced back at him. "How are –"

Her words stopped short when she noticed what he was wearing. Her eyebrows pulled together and she pointed a finger at him. "Is that my sweatshirt?"

Shikamaru's eyes widened a fraction and he looked down at himself. His cheeks turned a light shade of pink and Sakura couldn't stop the smile on her face as he tried to explain. "It's – yeah, well, you left it here and…" Shikamaru trailed off and then he looked her. He sighed and gave her a shrug. "It reminds me of you. I – it smells like you and reminds me…of better days."

Sakura tore her eyes away from his face and his _damn charming_ smile. She stared at the maroon shirt that had always been way too big for her, but fit Shikamaru perfectly. She felt a warmth rushing over her as she looked at it, remembering cozy nights when that was all she wore as she laid on the couch with Shikamaru reading a book or joining him for a nap. It reminded her of _home_.

She shook her head at the thought and looked away from him. That was _not_ why she came here. She bit her lip and moved towards the door, then felt a hand on her arm. She didn't turn around as he told her in a soft voice, "Sakura, I miss you."

Her shoulders tensed and she replied in a quiet voice, "I miss you, too, Shika." She sighed and relaxed in his grip, turning back around only to be met with his lips. It was desperate and a little demanding, but she couldn't help but kiss him back. It felt _right_ and she had missed him _so much_. His hands were cupping her face and she had her arms locked around his neck pulling him closer. At some point, she had dropped her shoes, the sound of them clattering to the floor going unnoticed by both of them.

When the kiss broke, Sakura stepped out of his arms shaking her head. She tried to remember the reason they had broken up. She backed up towards the door, completely forgetting about her shoes. "Shikamaru, this doesn't – I'm still –"

He cut her off, his voice a little desperate, "I'm sorry, Sakura. Really, I am. Ever since that night, I have been. I just - I didn't think you'd want to talk to me so soon. I've been trying to work up the nerve to come see you for weeks. I was planning on coming by tomorrow actually."

 _Just two words._ She remembered silently wishing for him to say them when they'd had their fight. Of course, it would still take a little more than that. More to fix the problem. But those two simple words gave him her forgiveness. The rest would take longer and it would take some adjusting before they could go back to the way they were. But they were the words she had been waiting for months for, regardless of what she'd told people. She'd always been waiting for him.

Her feet stopped in their tracks and she looked at him expectantly, trying to not let her relief show. He took a step towards her and grabbed her hands, continuing without taking his eyes off hers, "It was a stupid fight, Sakura, and it just got out of hand."

Sakura rose an eyebrow at him, a little of her anger coming back hearing him call it a _stupid fight_. He groaned frustrated and tried to backpaddle. "Not that – I don't mean _what_ we fought about was stupid. It just – we – _I_ let my emotions cloud my reasoning. I wasn't thinking clearly. I don't actually think that you – I crossed a line. I'm sorry, Sakura. I was just _worried_."

Sakura deflated with a small nod that she understood where he was coming from. Their fight flashed through her mind and she felt that same hurt again. Shikamaru was right, though. It had been a _stupid fight_. He had told her that he thought she was taking too many missions and overworking herself, that she was _endangering_ herself. Sakura had gone on the defense, telling him that she could handle it, irritated that he thought he could tell her what to do. She'd let past insecurities get the best of her and accused him of not thinking she was good enough. The fight had gotten out of hand and they _both_ had said things they regretted. But when Shikamaru had said that she was _going to get herself killed trying to keep up with Sasuke and Naruto_ and that she _needed to straighten out her priorities_ , she'd kicked him out.

Shikamaru sighed and she was sure he'd seen the hurt in her eyes. His head fell to her shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her to pull her close. She relaxed against him and leaned her head against his. He held on to her tighter in response. She could hear the remorse and guilt in his voice as he spoke. "I know you're not still chasing after them, Sakura."

She let her hand come up to undo his ponytail, her fingers combing through the mess of his black hair like she used to do when he was stressed. "I know you don't. I never thought you did. But I…needed to hear you say it. That you do think I'm more than the girl I was at seventeen. That I know what I can handle. I'm not naïve, I know my limits and I'm not going to bite off more than I can chew."

He lifted his head and gave her a small smile before leaning his forehead against hers. "You were an amazing shinobi at seventeen, one of the strongest. And you've just gotten stronger, you've matured and you've become independent, made your own life, one that didn't revolve around an estranged teammate or proving yourself." His smile widened when she gave him a soft smile. "I know you don't think you're invincible. You're not stupid and I know you're not the type to run yourself into the ground. I just –"

"Let your emotions get the best of you?" Sakura finished for him with a sly smile.

He chuckled with a small nod and she teased him, "I can see how you wouldn't know how to handle that. Nara Shikamaru is not the type to ever have his emotions overshadow his reasoning."

"Not when it comes to you." He shrugged and she felt a warmth in her chest that she had missed. She leaned forward and gave him a sweet kiss. He pulled her back towards the bed and she wrapped her arm around his middle, resting her head on his chest.

She looked down at her sweatshirt that he was wearing. Her thumb stroking across the fabric fondly. It reminded her of home, like it did for Shikamaru and she was looking forward to her apartment feeling like that again. She thought about her upcoming mission dreadfully, knowing it would be at least a couple weeks before she came back. But she comforted herself with that at least she'd have Shikamaru to come home to again.

She was sure he already knew, but she told him anyways, "You can come home now. The apartment hasn't been the same without you."

He held her closer and she could hear the smile in his voice as he replied, "It wasn't the apartment that was home, Sakura. It was you."


End file.
